The use of pronouns is an important piece in respecting a person’s self-identity. Our pronouns are the labels we give ourselves to describe who we are and are what is used to identify us in society. We take for granted the common pronouns used every day are sufficient, but these labels miss the mark in helping everyone feel respected and sometimes hinder our efforts to show we value a person or group's worth. We have talked about the importance of using labels that are inclusive to ensure we are doing all we can to build a more inclusive environment and recognize each person’s own truth.

Using inclusive pronouns is more equitable, inclusive, and honors our diverse workforce. We are constantly placing our own pronouns on people, and we make assumptions about the gender of a person all the time. We are not always accurate and when we use the wrong pronoun, it can be harmful, hurtful, and disrespectful.

Some suggestions we can all make right now to show we care and assure everyone is valued are:

— Instead of ma’am or sir, we could just simply say hello or good morning
— We can use they, them, their or use their name until we know their pronouns
— Instead of ladies and gentlemen, you could say: everyone, colleagues, friends, folks

They are called “micro” because they are subtle and fall into a category that may be well-intentioned and a person is unaware of their harm to others. Microaggressions can also be deliberate acts of bigotry. Usually, people are unaware of the interpretation of the words they use or behaviors they exhibit, and therefore it is so important we are all more aware.

Microaggressions happen every day and whether they are intentional or unintentional verbal and nonverbal actions, they are rude, insensitive and communicate derogatory, hostile, or negative messages to people of a minority or marginalized group. These actions or behaviors repeat and affirm stereotypes.

Some examples are:
— To an Asian person, “You must be good in math.”
— A person of a dominant race telling a minority; “I know what you go through as a racial minority.”
— A person describing a black person by saying; “They speaks so well.”

There is plenty that can be done to counter Microaggressions. One step in the right direction is to gain a deeper awareness of our own ignorance and simply be more aware of what we think before we speak. We can also use the rule of opposites. Develop a habit of using micro affirmations by asserting small acts of acceptance, appreciation, understanding, and respect to describe an individual with feelings of engagement, comradery, comfort, and enthusiasm towards members of a group or an individual.

Attitudes about age might affect our relationship with one another and when we feel unappreciated, disrespected, and are treated differently because of our age it does real damage to us and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. A Yale study about ageism found our lifespan and health are impacted on the way we think about ourselves and others as it relates to ageism. The study states that the negative impact on ageism affects us mentally, impacts our physical health, and shortens our life expectancy.

Ageism refers to stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel), and discrimination (how we act) towards others or oneself based on age. Ageism affects everyone, both the oldest and the youngest, and when younger people experience it, it is called reverse ageism.

We all have negative attitudes about age and many times it can be self-directed ageism. This is that negative self-talk about our own age. It is not just the words we speak; it is the words we think, and, seniority and age play off each other in our work and in looking at things a little differently, we wonder how much ageism is already playing in our heads and what can we do to stop ageist attitudes?

Ageist thinking, feelings, and attitudes are often an unconscious bias, meaning we do not recognize we are doing it and how it impacts others and ourselves. It is the same driver that causes us to discriminate in some way. We use our differences to build ourselves up while marginalizing another. We do not realize we do harm to our own soul and psyche because negativity in any form against another pulls down the self.

To answer why does it matters, we must look at ourselves and discover our own ageist attitudes. Knowing all this, what can we do with our thoughts and feelings with one another and what can we do to stop ageist attitudes?

Here are some suggestions:
— Be the voice of the other side of this story and embrace our age, whatever that age is and embrace the journey!
— Look at everyone with an open heart, appreciating differences while discovering what we have in common.
— Bring awareness by talking about what ageism is, and its’ negative impact
— Stand up to negative age attitudes by speaking out when we see it happening.

With more information about ageism, we found Comprehensive Ageism Information & Education to be a valuable resource. As we continue to research ageism in our work, please share with us your own experiences with ageism and how we can continue to work on our ageist attitudes.